Don't Dolphins eat Tuna?

Call me Nostradamus.

Some people don't understand to click the little clicky links. Click "Nostradamus out," to read what I mean.
Nostradamus out.

I guess they really want the Big Dog...

Heh. Get it? The big DOG? Hahahaha...Oh, my. I kill me.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/scorecard/nflnews.asp?articleID=220184

Let me begin as a Dallas Cowboys fan by giving a personal and individual shout-out to everyone on the Falcons "organization" that made this happen. I was begging for this to happen the entire time The Tuna was flailing around like a fish out of water "coaching" the Cowboys.

Some problems I see with this:

1. You got Bill Parcells. Not Bill BELICHICK.
2. As wonderful and brilliant as everyone seems to think this man is, let us remember that he has won exactly 1 Superbowl without Belichick behind him. In his long storied career of winning 2, btw.
3. That Superbowl was 18 years ago. Ok, 17 years ago, but we're almost in 2008, so we'll call it 18.
4. He has no back-office, front-office, side-office or any other office experience.
5. You cannot trust this man. He has a long history of saying one thing and doing another, the most famous being when he pulled a Ricky on the Giants.

Ok. I understand that the snake oil salesman isn't actually going to be coach out there, but isn't it about time to put down the ceaseless, needless unfounded reverance of a man who was only adequate in his job, and look to the future, not the ambiguous past?

Once again, as a Cowboys fan who might someday meet this team on the football field, let me congratulate you on your decision.

The season for giving (out taxpayer dollars)...

I love Christmas. I really do. I get annoyed when people call it "The Holiday Season." I think that people who wanna celebrate Kwanzaa can pick some time in August. I think people who have "Holiday Trees," can kiss my ass. I love the looks on the faces of the people who I'm blessed to gift during Christmas as they like (or hate) what I give them. I truly prefer to give than to receive. There's little in the world that I want which I do not have.

However, I also make it a point not to gift people who have not gifted me with wisdom, caring, insight, friendship, steadfastness, character, etc. I do not give random gifts to random people. The older I've grown, the more I've found that this appears to be what my taxpayer dollars are for.

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/12/19/1219season.html

Let me go ahead and start with the basics. 9, 5, 4 and 2x at 9 months? Jesus Christ! No, I'm not taking his name in vain, really. I'm pointing out that even he would be taking birth control somewhere between any of those gestational periods.

She lives in subsidized (by me) housing, and always certainly gets (my) welfare dollars. For 9 years. Now, as I said, I'm not begrudging any private individuals who want to help out this disadvantaged young woman. However, where does it end?

What belief is there that giving her free tuition to nursing school is going to help? Let us assume for the moment (and, yes, I can say this with a straight face) that she has a job. She ain't gonna be keeping it while going to school. Let us not forget that "___ school" is usually "___ years" depending on what sort of (useless) degree you might get. Well, nursing school is a few years, at least, for the most dedicated students. This basically means that for the young lady in question, she's going to spend probably 4 years in school with no job. And no car, because as the grasping Ruiz points out, she still needs one of you fine folk to buy her an SUV.

4 years in nursing school. Maybe 3. Ok. I'd like to point out that in the past 9 years, this young lady has not managed to remain not pregnant for 3 years. Whoa. Did he just say that? Yes. He most certainly fucking did.

What possible belief should there be, would there be, or can there be that this young lady will remain celibate during her school days when she hasn't over the past nine years? I think in order to receive, one must give. In her case, her ovaries. Yep. That's what I said. Give them up, and perhaps you can impose on the society you tax so much in the first place with your bad decisions and bad choices to give something back to help raise you up from the dregs into which you've slipped.

Merry Christmas

Whip it! Whip it good!

Sometimes they just speak for themselves. On behalf of all the people who AREN'T as stupid or pushy or idelogic or whatever the hell she thought her "innocent mistake" was proving, WHIP HER!!!!

http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/africa/11/27/sudan.bears/?iref=mpstoryview

Would you like some fries with that Columbine masscare?

Oh, dear God. Forgive them, Father, for they are far too stupid for other treatment. It would be like condemning cows.

http://news8austin.com/content/top_stories/default.asp?ArID=195372

Money quote #1:
"Normally when a campus is in lockdown nobody is moving. Everybody is staying put. No one is wandering the halls. There is no going to and from places,"

Really? On SWAT lockdown? No movement? Really. And let me guess? You have to explain this to the "parents?" And they bitch, don't they? Presumably these are the same parents who would be bitching if their ill-behaved, under-educated, pregnant, obese, under-achieving kids were massacred, at, say Columbine, where there was no lockdown. For obvious reasons.

Money quote #2:
"Some of these kids. This is the only meal they get when they come here until the next day."

Wow, Betty. Now that is a revelation. Sucks to be these kids. Perhaps that's because the parents are spending what little money they have on drugs, alcohol and hookers? Just a fuckin' thought, because, I'll tell you what, there are resources in this country that a child does not have to go hungry with only his slice of pizza from school to eat all day. Trust me. I pay for the stupid programs.

There should be a license to be a parent.

Death and taxes. No. Football. What was I saying.

Sometimes you don't even have to write anything.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7426438?MSNHPHCP>1=10637

My heart goes out to you, kiddo. You did the right thing, Troy.

If there are any Vikings fans out there (yes, I'm talking to you 3 guys), organize a boycott of a few home games, would ya?

The wonderful thing about Eisner...

Wow. I really need a second line to that, but given the esteemed Eisner's career, there's just not a whole lot I can say about the man other than the fact that he's not Pervez Musharraf...

http://www.engadget.com/2007/11/07/ce-oh-no-he-didnt-part-xlix-eisner-tells-striking-writers-to/

Thanks to Engadget for pointing this one out. Fake Steve is going to have a helluva time with this one. Real Steve, too, probably.

As a guy who went to college for writing (as is so clearly evident in my brilliant prose, here), and who later realized that you have to give your heart, soul, and, more importantly, your creative rights over to these hacks who run the "business of writing," I do just have to say, "FUCK YOU, MICHAEL!"

Now, I also have to say, slightly softer, "fuck you, WGA." You are a union that rides on the back of your writers' good work. Once, you were useful, but like most unions, you have used your dues and your power for your own aggrandizement instead of furthering the needs of your members. You ought to relocate to Cleveland, where this kind of thing is commonplace. You ask your members to strike, and still pay their dues. That seems like asking Mikey to eat something just to see how it tastes before you try. Put up or shut up. Preferrably shut up. Don't believe me? Ok. That's fine. Go read this then shut up.

After tooling around on the WGA site, I was able to find the current complaints that the WGA alleges. My personal favorite is the phrase "makes a mockery of any residuals."

Jesus, guys. Grow up. Writers write. Studios produce. They hire, fire, make the show, broadcast the show, own the equipment, have the tech and artistic knowhow. Writers write.

That said, strike, don't strike, whatever. But, for Michael Eisner to come out of left field and blame Steve friggin' Jobs for this? PLEASE. Dude. I'm sorry your new venture isn't making any money, and you're "begging advertisers to give [you] enough money to break even," but that's not Steve Jobs' fault. I'm sorry that he made you leave Disney. I'm sorry you hate the old Shiite Muslim, but, really. You think this is Apple's fault?

If maybe your old hackish industry "take everyone to the cleaners and keep the profits for ourselves" attitude had changed a decade ago, maybe, just maybe you'd have some goodwill with the craftsmen who make your shows.