http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jnweKlptFcPJXc2GxbuIyE4ix6Vg
Are you fucking kidding me?
"Harmful material" means material whose dominant theme taken as a whole and is utterly without redeeming social value for minors.
Disagree with that statement above? Fine. Go vote for someone new who wants to change it. That's the Texas Penal Code quoted above.
I'd like to point out that a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist probably has other books that have "redeeming social value."
This whole thing reminds me a bit of Farenheit 451, a book by Bradbury which has, quite amusingly, been banned in many school districts.
Christ, where does this stop? Ok, so the guy's a killer and a necrophiliac. It's also based on a true story from a guy who acted like this in Tennessee. Regardless, if we ban McCormack, what's next Faulkner or London because they were racists? Shakespeare because he was a misogynist? Whitman because he was gay? Then where?
Will the kids be allowed to read the Constitution? Those guys were slave-owners, many of them. Rapists, too, if you really want to get into what having sex with slaves actually is.
This has gone ridiculously too far. When Texas students can be suspended from school for wearing John Edwards T-shirts or telling a teacher that they are wrong, what's next?
Friday, October 26, 2007
Clam up, Georgia!
It's hard to type, I'm laughing so hard.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119335538682372231.html
I'd like to give a big shout-out to Google News for allowing me NOT have to subscribe to read this article. I'm sure if the WSJ knew about it, they'd care. Or maybe not. Anyway, if you want to read the article, go search Google News for "Atlanta mussels."
So. 350 miles away, the mussels are doing just fine. Yep. Atlantans can't wash their cars, but the clams are just fine. Go clams!
You see, somewhere back in 2006, instead of saying "fuck you, they're fucking clams," the Army instead said, "oh, yeah, sure. We'll send water down the rivers. Fuck all the thirsty people. Clams is where it's at, yo!"
Now, this wouldn't be so damned funny if Atlanta in particular and Georgia in general didn't act like the grasshopper. You see, Georgia usually has so much rain, that this isn't a problem. There's plenty to go around. October is one of Atlanta's driest months and clocks in at nearly 4" in the month. Since this is the case, the same morons who clatter around bitching about "global warming," and "climate change," don't plan for the future. "Well, we've always had water. Why worry?"
You morons. How in the world did you get elected? You're the idiots taking our money for this shit. You're the ones claiming that there's a catastrophic climate change happening next Tuesday, if you believe Al Gore, and we're just too dumb to see it, so you take more of our money. And, where does our money go --Ok, not really "ours," because I do not, thanks be to everything that's holy, live in or around the Armpit of America that is Atlanta -- precisely? Because it sure as shit didn't go into building more reservoirs.
Now, back to the point of Man vs Mussel. There's a small point in there as well which no one is talking about, but I'd like to point out. The Flint, where it drops out into the Gulf, also is home to the stupid, er, endangered Gulf Sturgeon, so, really, Atlanta's not being overpowered by mussels, but rather by mussels and fish. Seems unfair to gang up on the city that way. I mean, really. C'mon. Two vs one?
Money quote:
Where in the U.S. Constitution does it say, 'protect the mussels?'
Some protesting retard held that up. And, I'm not insulting him. I mean "retard" in the classic sense of "someone with less IQ than a sack of hair." Somone who walks around in public laughing and saying to everyone, "I just went poo!"
I'll tell you exactly where it says it, idiot. Article 1, Section 7. You voted these tree-hugging jerkoffs into office. They wrote a law that says "protect the mussels." You may have heard of it? The Endangered Species Act of 1973? If you don't like that, vote in people who want to protect you, not every damned thing on the planet.
Finally, even PETA disagrees with this one. I couldn't find a single picture of a fish or a mussel on their site. People for the Ethical Treatment of Cute and Fuzzy Animals Only.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119335538682372231.html
I'd like to give a big shout-out to Google News for allowing me NOT have to subscribe to read this article. I'm sure if the WSJ knew about it, they'd care. Or maybe not. Anyway, if you want to read the article, go search Google News for "Atlanta mussels."
So. 350 miles away, the mussels are doing just fine. Yep. Atlantans can't wash their cars, but the clams are just fine. Go clams!
You see, somewhere back in 2006, instead of saying "fuck you, they're fucking clams," the Army instead said, "oh, yeah, sure. We'll send water down the rivers. Fuck all the thirsty people. Clams is where it's at, yo!"
Now, this wouldn't be so damned funny if Atlanta in particular and Georgia in general didn't act like the grasshopper. You see, Georgia usually has so much rain, that this isn't a problem. There's plenty to go around. October is one of Atlanta's driest months and clocks in at nearly 4" in the month. Since this is the case, the same morons who clatter around bitching about "global warming," and "climate change," don't plan for the future. "Well, we've always had water. Why worry?"
You morons. How in the world did you get elected? You're the idiots taking our money for this shit. You're the ones claiming that there's a catastrophic climate change happening next Tuesday, if you believe Al Gore, and we're just too dumb to see it, so you take more of our money. And, where does our money go --Ok, not really "ours," because I do not, thanks be to everything that's holy, live in or around the Armpit of America that is Atlanta -- precisely? Because it sure as shit didn't go into building more reservoirs.
Now, back to the point of Man vs Mussel. There's a small point in there as well which no one is talking about, but I'd like to point out. The Flint, where it drops out into the Gulf, also is home to the stupid, er, endangered Gulf Sturgeon, so, really, Atlanta's not being overpowered by mussels, but rather by mussels and fish. Seems unfair to gang up on the city that way. I mean, really. C'mon. Two vs one?
Money quote:
Where in the U.S. Constitution does it say, 'protect the mussels?'
Some protesting retard held that up. And, I'm not insulting him. I mean "retard" in the classic sense of "someone with less IQ than a sack of hair." Somone who walks around in public laughing and saying to everyone, "I just went poo!"
I'll tell you exactly where it says it, idiot. Article 1, Section 7. You voted these tree-hugging jerkoffs into office. They wrote a law that says "protect the mussels." You may have heard of it? The Endangered Species Act of 1973? If you don't like that, vote in people who want to protect you, not every damned thing on the planet.
Finally, even PETA disagrees with this one. I couldn't find a single picture of a fish or a mussel on their site. People for the Ethical Treatment of Cute and Fuzzy Animals Only.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I discovered DNA. Maybe you've heard of it?
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/25/science/25cnd-watson.html?hp
Once again we turn to one of the greatest investigative sources and sources of pure journalistic truth and wisdom on the planet. No, not The Weekly World News, but rather the New York Times, the paper that I personally hold in the highest esteem. Viva la Jayson Blair!! You go, boys! You make that news up!!! Filthy hacks.
Well, imagine my not-surprise, then, when I read the above, uninformative beauty from them. After digging around, I found out what was actually said. Not on the NYT site, of course.
Referring to peoples from Africa (actually, I think it's referring to peoples descended from and currently living in Africa, but you get the point), Dr. Watson says:
"all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours whereas all the testing says not really."
"there is no firm reason to anticipate that the intellectual capacities of peoples geographically separated in their evolution should prove to have evolved identically"
"there are many people of color who are very talented, but don't promote them when they haven't succeeded at the lower level."
Alright. There's more. These pretty well cover it however. Oh..right...this one:
"This is not a discussion about superiority or inferiority, it is about seeking to understand differences, about why some of us are great musicians and others great engineers."
So, Cold Spring Harbor cans him. Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. He retired precipitously. There was no pressure to do so. Riiiight. He just decided that now was the time?
If a Nobel winner (he discovered DNA. Remember Crick? Yeah. That's the Watson we're talking about here) wants to talk about genetic disparity and how it could affect what we traditionally consider intelligence, I say let the man. He's earned his right to do so.
Outspoken critic of Nigeria Idang Alibi (by the way, he lives and writes in Africa. Now that takes guts) agrees with Doc Watson. I imagine if anyone asks, so does Bill Cosby. I imagine if anyone cares to ask, and if they're not frothing at the mouth too much to answer, it's likely that Louis Farrakhan and Jesse Jackson probably do not.
By the way...
Good Ol' NYT again...
Money quote:
"Three populations were studied, Africans, East Asians and Europeans. In each, a mostly different set of genes had been favored by natural selection. And genes that affect the brain have also been evolving, and they have also been evolving differently in the different populations."
Wait. Wait. Wait. What are you saying? Africans are dumber than East Asians. East Asians are smarter than Europeans? Wait. This is like one of those logic problems. Well, I guess it would be, but that's all you say. There's a bit of gobble-de-gook that in no way goes into the incredibly fascinating study done here or its portents, but this one slipped under the radar a year and a half ago.
Alright. Back to my point. Dr. Watson, thank you for your good work. Thank you for your brilliance. Those of us who appreciate it will never look down on you for stepping away from this ridiculousness and the shit storm named political correctness. Some of us understand what you were actually trying to say. Some of us don't actually think you're a racist.
Enjoy your retirement, doc. You earned it.
Once again we turn to one of the greatest investigative sources and sources of pure journalistic truth and wisdom on the planet. No, not The Weekly World News, but rather the New York Times, the paper that I personally hold in the highest esteem. Viva la Jayson Blair!! You go, boys! You make that news up!!! Filthy hacks.
Well, imagine my not-surprise, then, when I read the above, uninformative beauty from them. After digging around, I found out what was actually said. Not on the NYT site, of course.
Referring to peoples from Africa (actually, I think it's referring to peoples descended from and currently living in Africa, but you get the point), Dr. Watson says:
"all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours whereas all the testing says not really."
"there is no firm reason to anticipate that the intellectual capacities of peoples geographically separated in their evolution should prove to have evolved identically"
"there are many people of color who are very talented, but don't promote them when they haven't succeeded at the lower level."
Alright. There's more. These pretty well cover it however. Oh..right...this one:
"This is not a discussion about superiority or inferiority, it is about seeking to understand differences, about why some of us are great musicians and others great engineers."
So, Cold Spring Harbor cans him. Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. He retired precipitously. There was no pressure to do so. Riiiight. He just decided that now was the time?
If a Nobel winner (he discovered DNA. Remember Crick? Yeah. That's the Watson we're talking about here) wants to talk about genetic disparity and how it could affect what we traditionally consider intelligence, I say let the man. He's earned his right to do so.
Outspoken critic of Nigeria Idang Alibi (by the way, he lives and writes in Africa. Now that takes guts) agrees with Doc Watson. I imagine if anyone asks, so does Bill Cosby. I imagine if anyone cares to ask, and if they're not frothing at the mouth too much to answer, it's likely that Louis Farrakhan and Jesse Jackson probably do not.
By the way...
Good Ol' NYT again...
Money quote:
"Three populations were studied, Africans, East Asians and Europeans. In each, a mostly different set of genes had been favored by natural selection. And genes that affect the brain have also been evolving, and they have also been evolving differently in the different populations."
Wait. Wait. Wait. What are you saying? Africans are dumber than East Asians. East Asians are smarter than Europeans? Wait. This is like one of those logic problems. Well, I guess it would be, but that's all you say. There's a bit of gobble-de-gook that in no way goes into the incredibly fascinating study done here or its portents, but this one slipped under the radar a year and a half ago.
Alright. Back to my point. Dr. Watson, thank you for your good work. Thank you for your brilliance. Those of us who appreciate it will never look down on you for stepping away from this ridiculousness and the shit storm named political correctness. Some of us understand what you were actually trying to say. Some of us don't actually think you're a racist.
Enjoy your retirement, doc. You earned it.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I'm not creepy. I'm just chock full o' love!
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/23/health/23well.html?em&ex=1193371200&en=5758670f0ceca03a&ei=5087%0A
Money quote #1:
"I certainly never expected to be a “co-sleeping” parent."
Alright. I'm very happily married, and my wife and I will, at some point, be having a couple or more of those life-sucking entities known as "children." I don't know a whole lot about raising them, as, I guess, most people don't, but I can guaran-damn-tee y'all one thing. I will certainly never be a "co-sleeping parent." In fact, I'm pretty sure there's some sort of law against "co-sleeping." Ask my wife. She's a lawyer.
Alright "co-sleeping?" I just adore your new word, by the way. There's already a word for it, hon. It's "co-dependent." Or "whiny." Or "pathetic." Or "creepy."
Money quote #2"
"...getting her out of the bed as she got older has been next to impossible."
Kind of like getting her to eat anything other than McNuggets? Getting her to behave in public? Getting her not to run around the restaurant when mommy is getting sloshed on her 2nd glass (Ohmygod, i can't believe I've had 2 glasses!!! I feel so drunk. Come give Mommy a kiss!) of bottom-shelf White Zinfandel?
Some situations I'd like to point out:
"Can we turn off the lights, Mommy, I'm tired?"
"No, honey. I promised Mr. Jones he could see my face."
"Mommy! Mr. Snuggles is all sticky!"
(deep voice) "Tell your mommy to swallow next time."
and so forth.
Money quote #3:
"the practice is widely frowned on, not just by grandparents and friends..."
Hahahahaha...I'm guessing her grandparents and your friends, you creepy bitch.
Money quote #3:
"Nearly 13 percent of parents in the United States slept with their infants in 2000..."
YES! Infants! INFANTS!!! Yes. Totally ok. Children old enough to make ladders out of Doritos bags in their sleep and wake you up to tell you about it need their own room. Preferrably the basement. With shackles. And slowly dripping water. Oh, wait. Don't worry. You're making her insane enough on your own.
Money quote #4 (and I'm only 5 paragaphs in, folks):
"Ask parents if they sleep with their kids, and most will say no."
Because they don't. Oh..wait for it. Insert supposed statistics about people not reporting what they're not doing and create a percentage for me. Please? Ass something in about global warming to make me believe it. C'mon. Really. Only like 40% of people are really that creepy, and most of them don't have kids; they're uncles named Rob.
Useless statistic #1:
"Parents who slept with their children reported a much higher frequency of nighttime wakings than parents who did not."
Wait a minute. Parents who were 3 inches away from their kids noticed their kids waking up more often than those who were shackled in the basement? Who'd've thunk?
Tangetial rant #1:
"the nurses insisted that I hold her in my hospital bed because her cries were disturbing the other babies."
Uh. I'm sorry. Fuck the fuck off you fucking fuckers. You get paid to deal with that shit. The lady had a C-section, and if you're not clear on that, it's when they go in through your chest, take out your lungs and heart and stomach, grab the baby then superglue all that shit back in. Or something. Anyway, it hurts. It's a MAJOR surgery. When I had knee surgery, my folks and friends weren't let into the room for about 6 hours, and I was under constant supervision. They sure as hell didn't bring me some squalling little ball of snot, tears and shit and say, "hey, hold this would you? It's crying."
Money quote to close:
"“I can tell you with certainty,” he says, “that one day you will wake up, and she won’t be there.”
I'm pretty sure that's what Charles Manson's mom found out, too.
Money quote #1:
"I certainly never expected to be a “co-sleeping” parent."
Alright. I'm very happily married, and my wife and I will, at some point, be having a couple or more of those life-sucking entities known as "children." I don't know a whole lot about raising them, as, I guess, most people don't, but I can guaran-damn-tee y'all one thing. I will certainly never be a "co-sleeping parent." In fact, I'm pretty sure there's some sort of law against "co-sleeping." Ask my wife. She's a lawyer.
Alright "co-sleeping?" I just adore your new word, by the way. There's already a word for it, hon. It's "co-dependent." Or "whiny." Or "pathetic." Or "creepy."
Money quote #2"
"...getting her out of the bed as she got older has been next to impossible."
Kind of like getting her to eat anything other than McNuggets? Getting her to behave in public? Getting her not to run around the restaurant when mommy is getting sloshed on her 2nd glass (Ohmygod, i can't believe I've had 2 glasses!!! I feel so drunk. Come give Mommy a kiss!) of bottom-shelf White Zinfandel?
Some situations I'd like to point out:
"Can we turn off the lights, Mommy, I'm tired?"
"No, honey. I promised Mr. Jones he could see my face."
"Mommy! Mr. Snuggles is all sticky!"
(deep voice) "Tell your mommy to swallow next time."
and so forth.
Money quote #3:
"the practice is widely frowned on, not just by grandparents and friends..."
Hahahahaha...I'm guessing her grandparents and your friends, you creepy bitch.
Money quote #3:
"Nearly 13 percent of parents in the United States slept with their infants in 2000..."
YES! Infants! INFANTS!!! Yes. Totally ok. Children old enough to make ladders out of Doritos bags in their sleep and wake you up to tell you about it need their own room. Preferrably the basement. With shackles. And slowly dripping water. Oh, wait. Don't worry. You're making her insane enough on your own.
Money quote #4 (and I'm only 5 paragaphs in, folks):
"Ask parents if they sleep with their kids, and most will say no."
Because they don't. Oh..wait for it. Insert supposed statistics about people not reporting what they're not doing and create a percentage for me. Please? Ass something in about global warming to make me believe it. C'mon. Really. Only like 40% of people are really that creepy, and most of them don't have kids; they're uncles named Rob.
Useless statistic #1:
"Parents who slept with their children reported a much higher frequency of nighttime wakings than parents who did not."
Wait a minute. Parents who were 3 inches away from their kids noticed their kids waking up more often than those who were shackled in the basement? Who'd've thunk?
Tangetial rant #1:
"the nurses insisted that I hold her in my hospital bed because her cries were disturbing the other babies."
Uh. I'm sorry. Fuck the fuck off you fucking fuckers. You get paid to deal with that shit. The lady had a C-section, and if you're not clear on that, it's when they go in through your chest, take out your lungs and heart and stomach, grab the baby then superglue all that shit back in. Or something. Anyway, it hurts. It's a MAJOR surgery. When I had knee surgery, my folks and friends weren't let into the room for about 6 hours, and I was under constant supervision. They sure as hell didn't bring me some squalling little ball of snot, tears and shit and say, "hey, hold this would you? It's crying."
Money quote to close:
"“I can tell you with certainty,” he says, “that one day you will wake up, and she won’t be there.”
I'm pretty sure that's what Charles Manson's mom found out, too.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Queer Eye for the Straight Wizard...
Ok, you've got to be kidding. I mean, you have got to be kidding me. I've been sitting here on this blank first line just trying to wrap my head around this one and what to say. I don't even know where to begin:
a) The announcement at friggin' Carnegie Hall?
b) The fact that she even felt the need to bring this up?
c) The fact that anyone actually cares?
d) Or this idiot http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1674550,00.html
Once again, Time does it and publishes a very poorly written article about absolutely nothing.
Alright. I don't want to write 99 pages on this and justify it any further than the ridiculous statement in the first place, so let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up:
1) You're done. You wrote the last book. Go home.
2) No one cares.
3) They're not real people, Ms. Rowling. Really. No. Really.
4) No one cares.
5) If it's not in the book, it didn't happen. See point 3 above. This is a work of fiction. Well, a lot of works of fiction. These characters don't have backstories. The books ARE THEIR BACK STORIES. If it's not in there, it didn't happen.
6) No. One. Cares.
Alright. That's enough about the issue itself. Now, for you, you blithering idiot. Let me just suggest that you START your article with this:
"Am I making too much of this? Undoubtedly."
That at least gives the unknowing reader a little insight into your mind that you're nothing more than a hack, and that this article isn't worth the virtual paper it isn't printed on. Hopefully Time didn't print this tripe in their paper magazine.
Please. God. Tell me they didn't justify this idiot with actual ink.
a) The announcement at friggin' Carnegie Hall?
b) The fact that she even felt the need to bring this up?
c) The fact that anyone actually cares?
d) Or this idiot http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1674550,00.html
Once again, Time does it and publishes a very poorly written article about absolutely nothing.
Alright. I don't want to write 99 pages on this and justify it any further than the ridiculous statement in the first place, so let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up:
1) You're done. You wrote the last book. Go home.
2) No one cares.
3) They're not real people, Ms. Rowling. Really. No. Really.
4) No one cares.
5) If it's not in the book, it didn't happen. See point 3 above. This is a work of fiction. Well, a lot of works of fiction. These characters don't have backstories. The books ARE THEIR BACK STORIES. If it's not in there, it didn't happen.
6) No. One. Cares.
Alright. That's enough about the issue itself. Now, for you, you blithering idiot. Let me just suggest that you START your article with this:
"Am I making too much of this? Undoubtedly."
That at least gives the unknowing reader a little insight into your mind that you're nothing more than a hack, and that this article isn't worth the virtual paper it isn't printed on. Hopefully Time didn't print this tripe in their paper magazine.
Please. God. Tell me they didn't justify this idiot with actual ink.
Welcome
Welcome to all the little things that you see every day that just floor you. Have you ever wondered how someone you're talking to can even find the door in the morning, they're so stupid? I do. Way too often.
This blog is dedicated to those wonderful, wonderful people that make all of our days just a little more staggeringly stupid.
This blog is dedicated to those wonderful, wonderful people that make all of our days just a little more staggeringly stupid.
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