Clam up, Georgia!

It's hard to type, I'm laughing so hard.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119335538682372231.html

I'd like to give a big shout-out to Google News for allowing me NOT have to subscribe to read this article. I'm sure if the WSJ knew about it, they'd care. Or maybe not. Anyway, if you want to read the article, go search Google News for "Atlanta mussels."

So. 350 miles away, the mussels are doing just fine. Yep. Atlantans can't wash their cars, but the clams are just fine. Go clams!

You see, somewhere back in 2006, instead of saying "fuck you, they're fucking clams," the Army instead said, "oh, yeah, sure. We'll send water down the rivers. Fuck all the thirsty people. Clams is where it's at, yo!"

Now, this wouldn't be so damned funny if Atlanta in particular and Georgia in general didn't act like the grasshopper. You see, Georgia usually has so much rain, that this isn't a problem. There's plenty to go around. October is one of Atlanta's driest months and clocks in at nearly 4" in the month. Since this is the case, the same morons who clatter around bitching about "global warming," and "climate change," don't plan for the future. "Well, we've always had water. Why worry?"

You morons. How in the world did you get elected? You're the idiots taking our money for this shit. You're the ones claiming that there's a catastrophic climate change happening next Tuesday, if you believe Al Gore, and we're just too dumb to see it, so you take more of our money. And, where does our money go --Ok, not really "ours," because I do not, thanks be to everything that's holy, live in or around the Armpit of America that is Atlanta -- precisely? Because it sure as shit didn't go into building more reservoirs.

Now, back to the point of Man vs Mussel. There's a small point in there as well which no one is talking about, but I'd like to point out. The Flint, where it drops out into the Gulf, also is home to the stupid, er, endangered Gulf Sturgeon, so, really, Atlanta's not being overpowered by mussels, but rather by mussels and fish. Seems unfair to gang up on the city that way. I mean, really. C'mon. Two vs one?

Money quote:
Where in the U.S. Constitution does it say, 'protect the mussels?'

Some protesting retard held that up. And, I'm not insulting him. I mean "retard" in the classic sense of "someone with less IQ than a sack of hair." Somone who walks around in public laughing and saying to everyone, "I just went poo!"

I'll tell you exactly where it says it, idiot. Article 1, Section 7. You voted these tree-hugging jerkoffs into office. They wrote a law that says "protect the mussels." You may have heard of it? The Endangered Species Act of 1973? If you don't like that, vote in people who want to protect you, not every damned thing on the planet.

Finally, even PETA disagrees with this one. I couldn't find a single picture of a fish or a mussel on their site. People for the Ethical Treatment of Cute and Fuzzy Animals Only.