Queer Eye for the Straight Wizard...

Ok, you've got to be kidding. I mean, you have got to be kidding me. I've been sitting here on this blank first line just trying to wrap my head around this one and what to say. I don't even know where to begin:

a) The announcement at friggin' Carnegie Hall?
b) The fact that she even felt the need to bring this up?
c) The fact that anyone actually cares?
d) Or this idiot http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1674550,00.html

Once again, Time does it and publishes a very poorly written article about absolutely nothing.

Alright. I don't want to write 99 pages on this and justify it any further than the ridiculous statement in the first place, so let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

1) You're done. You wrote the last book. Go home.
2) No one cares.
3) They're not real people, Ms. Rowling. Really. No. Really.
4) No one cares.
5) If it's not in the book, it didn't happen. See point 3 above. This is a work of fiction. Well, a lot of works of fiction. These characters don't have backstories. The books ARE THEIR BACK STORIES. If it's not in there, it didn't happen.
6) No. One. Cares.

Alright. That's enough about the issue itself. Now, for you, you blithering idiot. Let me just suggest that you START your article with this:
"Am I making too much of this? Undoubtedly."

That at least gives the unknowing reader a little insight into your mind that you're nothing more than a hack, and that this article isn't worth the virtual paper it isn't printed on. Hopefully Time didn't print this tripe in their paper magazine.

Please. God. Tell me they didn't justify this idiot with actual ink.